What is that famous Raider saying? Next season!!! Hater nation!!!

Classic. Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have? A: Big hands.

The other day I saw a sheep pole dancing in a kebab shop.

Did you hear about the alien megastructures located near the Milkyway? *Handwave* nanobots

How can you tell if someone is vegan? They’ll fucking tell you!

I just bought the best vacuum ever It sucks

I’m bored, think I’ll go to the mall, find a great parking spot, sit in my car with my reverse lights on

What’s the definition of a nervous breakdown ? A chameleon on a tartan rug !

What do call someone who takes care of reindeer and really enjoys it? A Jolly Rancher.

You don’t have to be good at anagrams to see that Pope Benedict is an Epic Bent Pedo.