Fun game: Take pictures with your camera sound turned up when someone comes into the bathroom stall next to yours

What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow

Once a man went to a resturant and ordered an egg. When it was brought he didn’t liked it so he informed the waiter that the egg was bad. Came the reply: “I don’t lay egg sir I just lay table !”

What’s a frog’s preferred fastener? Rivet.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hey wanna go ride bikes?

What do you call a group of Idiots? Congress

Why do buddhist make bad vacuum salesman? They can’t deal with attachments.

Coworker: You smell good. What is that? Armani? Me: Thanks! It’s Febreze. I just took a dump.

Now I’m not saying I’m a good businessman… But I spent $534 million less than Hillary Clinton to not become president.

I dunno who decided on the spelling of bologna, but it’s obvious he had no idea how letters work.