What did captain Kirk do in the head? He Shatner.

America is kind of like testicles If the right nut can’t agree with the left nut. We can’t produce.

Why should you never get into an argument with a dictionary? Because they’ll always have the last word.

Dear Idiot: It’s HOMEOpath, not HOMOpath. Homopath is like a crazy gay dude.

what is the key to picking up girls who are musicians? get a flat and be sharp

Taking home work has never been more satisfying I love being a coroner!

Researchers have found a new medicine to turn lesbians straight It’s called Tricoxagain.

New Knock-Knock joke? Child: Knock Knock Grandmother: Who’s there? Child: [Insert Name] Grandmother: [Insert Name] who? Child: Oh no! You have Alzheimer’s! Yes? No?

You think the dozen roses on my toilet tank are there to mask odor? Read the card: “Dear toilet. I’m so sorry for all the shit I’ve done…”

Being a suicide bolder sounds like a blast