my favourite one-liner a seal walks into a club.

A woman walks in to a bar and asks for a Double Entendre… …So the bartender gave her one.

Just saw a dude catcall a woman with “Nice heels, girl” and his friend slapped him and said “Those are knock offs, bro”

Growing a beard comes from laziness. If you ladies think that’s sexy I have some laundry on my bedroom floor that’ll turn you on.

No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don’t Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March….. I got this.

What did the doctor say when a Chinese baby with down syndrome was born? Congratulations, you have a healthy new baby!

What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn’t pay his bill ? “Pack your trunk and clear out !”

Heard about the peanut that walked through Central Park It was a salted.

Bjerg is so fly That he’s sren

Who led the Jewish people through the semi-permeable membrane? Osmoses