What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his butt

Painted my computer black hoping it would run faster… Now it just doesn’t work.

A monk to another, “O! master, is it proper for a monk to use email?” “Sure, as long as there are no attachments”, replied the other.

Why was the Xbox 360 named as it was? Cos when I seen one i turnt 360 degrees and walked away Playstation for life xD

Saw a homeless white girl begging for money. I didn’t give her any, because I know how they are, always blowing it on Starbucks.

Eating Chinese food is like getting an organ transplant There’s always a chance your body will reject it.

This guy told me that he can see the future but he didn’t even try to duck when I punched him in the face.

I spent the last two years trying to find my ex girlfriend’s killer. No one will do it.

(For Ents) So the D.E.A filed a report So the D.E.A filed a report about the Old lady who swallowed the Fly. Turns out Flies are a Gateway Bug

Jupit. Jupiter. Jupitest.