Being iced in for 2 days gave me the opportunity to get so much housework done! I didn’t do any of it. But I certainly had the opportunity.

A nervous mountaineer looks at the steep mountain… Which his guide had proposed to climb. – Do people tumble down often here? – No, the guide said, one time is usually enough.

uh oh we better all stand up for the old man in the dress who bangs a tiny hammer down or he might decide that we have to live in a cage

I was riding a horse once and its leg broke, so I had to shoot it — everyone on the carousel freaked out.

I don’t know what Germany’s favorite letter is but I can definitely tell you it’s… Not C.

What breed will Donald Trumps dog be if he wins the election? A Border Collie

what’s big, black and looks good on a lawyer’s neck? a doberman

So I thought I would share a time travel joke with you guys.. But you didn’t like it.

Have you heard the one about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering whether or not there really is a dog.

A man had to visit a hospital after inserting five toy horses up his anus… … the doctors described his condition as stable.