I once dated a girl with two noses. She wasn’t much to look at but she smelled great.

I’m helping the sharks celebrate their big week by throwing cats into the ocean.

Hey, NSA, if you’re going to read them, would it kill you to star them?

Before you act, listen. Before you react, think. Before you spend, earn, Before you pray, forgive. Before you post, check for typos.

I don’t always give women orgasms, but when I do… I let them swallow.

I’ve just bought a transparent megaphone. Now everyone can hear me loud and clear.

If you ever get cold… Just stand in a corner. They’re usually around 90 degrees!

My best friend back home just had his first kid but I also will be giving birth today…to some relatable content

Ever hear the story of the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac? He would lay awake at night worried about the existence of dog.

There once was a guy drawing blood… …he used a pencillin.