At what age do you tell a highway it’s adopted???

There’s a thin line between word and world.

The joke about the sun Is too hot to handle

Why do lesbians like Sports Authority so much? Because they hate Dick’s!

“How’s your love life?” Well, I went on a date. 45 minutes in I realized it was a turtle in a wig. “I’m sorry man” it’s ok. still got laid.

yo mommas so poor the roaches pay the light bill!

If women are people, why are they so stupid? Seriously. Even the smartest and most accomplished women are dumber than the most retarded head lice.

I hate it when people say Amsterdam is only for smoking weed. I mean c’mon, there’s prostitutes too!

There are five frogs staring at me right now but only one can be America’s top model.

T-Rex probably died from the spread of disease since he couldn’t use the soap dispensers without smashing his face into the mirror.