Breaking news! Cannot unsee! Mathematicians find 2-1=0!

A farmer’s cattle broke out of their pen and got into the marijuana plants he was growing. The steaks were really high.

Honey, am I fat? Of course not! You just interact a bit more with the Higgs field.

I know we’re not supposed to say this, but our second black president looks just like our first black president to me.

Why did Snoop Dogg buy an umbrella? Fo drizzle

Knock knock – Who’s there? – Impatient cow. – Impatient co- – He already left.

Some fairy tales start with “once upon a time”. Others start with “If I won the elections”.

Keep your friend’s toast, but keep your enemy’s toaster.

Barely amusing Japanese joke Why are snakes so difficult to pick up in Japan? Because in Japan, snakes are hebi.

My roommate’s diary says I have boundary issues.