A suicide bomber walks into a bar But he doesn’t blow up, because it’s an Allahu snack bar.

What do you call a shoplifter of pancakes? Crepetomaniac

What did the pirate say with the steering wheel in his pants? Arrgh, it’s driving me nuts!

Everyone, meet our new baby, Lucian “Aww, what a nice name” It’s her dad’s, so I picked his middle name “What is it?” Theskywithdiamonds

Everybody values honesty, until they have an ugly baby.

What does the B in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for? Benoit B. Mandelbrot

So this guy goes to the Dr. And the Dr says “You have to stop masturbating.” the guy says “Why?” And the Dr says “Because I’m trying to examine you.”

My dog never listens to me, and I think he might have a speech impediment… He keeps balking at me when I try to tell him to be quiet

A German woman was walking down a dark alley when she got accosted by eleven men… …who tear her clothes apart and start to rape and molest her. The woman shouts ‘Nien! Nien!’, so two of them left.

The key to a healthy sex life… …also opens the back door.