What’s the hot new romance novel for nerds 256 shades of grey

How can a mouse kill an elephant? Whispering to an elephant: ” I’m pregnant with you”

I have a phobia of German sausage Yes, I fear the wurst.

Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation? Because she threw out all the bent ones.

If you drop a brown bear and a white bear into a lake, which one dissolves first? The white one, because it’s **Polar**.

Miracles do happen even on Facebook and Twitter. Come Sunday and suddenly everyone becomes a preacher.

welcome to fireman school. raise ur hand if you thought this was firefighter school *all hands raise* wrong *lights self on fire* FIREMAN

9am: *starts diet* 2pm: *injects KFC gravy intravenously*

With the magic of makeup, I go from tired old hag to tired looking old hag with eyeliner.

Doctors have discovered a new strain of ebola in Israel They have appropriately named it Heebola.