The Energizer bunny was just releases from prison. He was charged with battery. . . .

What did the hippie say when he was asked to leave the party? “Namaste”

New Zealand scientists have discovered two new uses for sheep… Meat and wool. (Exchange for Welshmen if need be)

Can February March? No, but April May.

If you take the D out of Devil what do you get? D

When my friend told me to stop acting like a flamingo… …I just had to put my foot down…

My earthquake kit is just a tuxedo because in case of a disaster, I want to look like the most important person to save.

Why did Tigger look in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh.

Happy penis to Sigmund Freud. What? No, I’m pretty sure I said “birthday.”

Why should you never let a panda into a chemistry lab? Because it will create pandamonium