What should you do when push comes to shove? Learn to read. The door says “pull”.

[Dirty] Surveys show … Nine out of ten people enjoy gang rape.

Anybody taking bath in Milk.. “Why do you take baths in milk?” “I can’t find a cow tall enough for a shower.”

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon? Kermit’s finger.

Why do engineering students call themselves engineers? You don’t hear a law student call themselves a lawyer, or a gender studies student call themselves a barista.

Satan has a facebook account, apparently.

Whats an Australian Kiss? (nsfw-ish) It’s like a French kiss, but down under.

How does Romney only claim a 14% tax rate? He claims 47% of the U.S. as dependents.

When I was a younger man girls used to “check me out”. Now women just “keep an eye on me”

What did the french say to the Nazis when they invaded ? Table for 50,000?