Two fish are in a tank.. And one looks at the other and says, “How do you drive this thing?”

What’s the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? A hockey player takes a shower after three periods.

Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.

what happened when the frog double parked? Its car got toad away.

What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk

Snape: “I think the Dark Lord has returned.” Potter: “Are you serious?” Snape: “No, I’m Severus.”

My GF and I would kick ass at the newlywed game. I know 100% of her answers to questions is ” I don’t know”.

If a redneck was a pie, what flavour would it be? Pump-kin.

Dark humor is kinda like food. Not everybody gets it.

Doormats are a gateway rug.