There’s a great new website that helps you find the local church that is right for you They call it, Evangielist.

Terrorists have hijacked a plane filled with politicians… They say they will release one politician per hour if their demands aren’t met.

The stock market is like a woman…. ….when she goes down, you buy more

I really think Hillary Clinton will be the first f president Oops. I meant female but the emale got deleted

Did you hear the one about the dyslexic insomniac agnostic? He lay awake at night, wondering if there is a dog.

Sorry, I just got your text. Do you still need a ride to the ER?

Roses are red… violets are red, tulips are red, daisies are red. Doppler shift!

I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage… The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity.

Don’t cry, that onion didn’t deserve you anyways.

How did the farmer move his cows? In a mooving van!