Did you hear about the pirate who wanted to cut hair for a living? He moved to the barbery coast.

What do gay horses eat? Hayyyy

Q: Why did the rabbit eat lunch under the sink? A: He found a leek there.

What is better then roses on a piano? Tulips on your organ.

Wow, I got this new lamp from the store and didn’t use a dime! But instead, I used 30$

Where do cows like to ride on trains? In the cow-boose.

Why do the Irish wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

Glad my parents spent 100k on my education so now I can type “c u @ 2” to my pot guy.

Whats Putins favourite food? Ukrainian take away.

My girlfriend is like God. Doesn’t exist…