What did the pigeon say after its friend landed a sick flip? Coo.

What do they call brassieres in Germany? Holdzemfromfloppen

Bruce Jenner, substantiated proof… Women are worse drivers.

What percentage of Scottish people are twats? 55.3%

I am gonna die with this joke http://www.thegeekbyte.com/install-wordpress-localhost/

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you’re good. Fool me four times, WOW! Did you major in fooling?

I forgot FB was not Twitter & posted something ultra dirty. Now I have to avoid my granndma, change my hair color & leave the state.

Instead of my usual Monday snark I’m going to be upbeat and have a great day LOLJK today will ass rape my spirit animal with its angry fist.

How I Want To Die I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the four other passengers in his car.

Yo mama so fat, she sat on my iPhone and turned it into an iPad