Two soldiers are in a tank… …one turns to the other and says, “blubblublbublub”.

Alcohol and calculus don’t go together very well. Don’t drink and derive.

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What do you call a dog with no legs in the ocean? Bob Barker

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.

Have you heard about Corduroy pillows? They are putting lines in your face!

10 years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me! She said no both times. ( )

We decided to go out for bbq tonight. As it turns out, I’m too immature to discuss how to smoke your meat with strangers.

2 deer walk out of bar… One says to the other, “I can’t believe I blew 30 bucks in there.”

My report card always said I was not living up to my full potential. Well, the joke’s on them. That really was as good as I was going to get