Me: I don’t like online shopping. I’m old school. I need to touch it, smell it, taste it. Her: I still need you to leave our lingerie store.

Whats green and can kill you if it gets between your teeth? A tractor

jail phone hey what do you call a phone in jail? a CELLphone 😀

Good morning beautiful breasts of my neighbor. How did you get inside these binoculars?

How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb? None a burned out bulb can’t catch a waiter’s eye.

What’s the definition of relative humidity? Sweat on your balls when you’re doing your sister.

A buddy of mine quit his job at the paper mill, He said the conditions were tearable.

What do you get from an overly pampered cow? Spoiled milk.

Watching the end credits of a movie so you can take note of the producer & director and never ever watch anything else that they make

What do you call four black guys hanging in a barn? Antique farm equipment.