The cruelest part of the movie Bambi?nnnnHis mom named him “Bambi.” nnShe deserved what she got for that.

Thank you to the Spanish public for. .. …rallying round and providing new headlines.

What’s the penalty for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

I’m not a mechanic so I don’t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.

Oh baby, were not going to need a ‘do not disturb’ sign. We’re going to need a ‘please don’t call the police were fine’ sign.

Want to piss your girlfriend off? Text her “He’s busy.” and turn off your phone.

What do you call it when you give a downy kid weed? Baked potato.

Windows 8 is like my ex… Looks good, is nice for touch and play, but terrible for the real work.

Q: What do you call a country bumpkin from Michigan’s Upper Peninsula? A: A hick-UP

Punny wednesday The phone rang ‘green green’ and so I pink up the phone. “Yellow? Blue is this? Can you speak louder? I can’t hear you purplerly, I’ll call you black later.”