I was at an airport recently and there was a aircraft that was pure white. Looked pretty plane to me.

Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The Bartender asks “Do you want a drink?” Descartes says “I think not,” and *poof*. He’s gone.

“Pistorius” sounds like a spell Harry Potter would use to make someone’s legs disappear That’s a Frankie Boyle joke

What do you call an unconvincing stick insect? Unreali-stick

Why does Santa Claus like to go down the chimney? Because it soots him! Beat that!!

Join the food train Chew chew!!!

My spanish class in high school should have had a bit less “Where is the bathroom” and a bit more “She was dead when we got here”.

What is a Spanish person without a car called? Carlos

I painted my computer black last night Now it runs much faster

When I was done filling my tank, a little bit of gas leaked out of the nozzle onto the ground. I actually felt my peener nod with empathy.