“Where do escalators come from?” “Well, when an Escalade and an alligator love each other very much…”

Why did Trump refuse the debate with Bernie? Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders.

Why did the Jews wander in the wilderness for 40 years? Someone dropped a penny.

My wife and I were happy for 20 years Then we met.

Me: Santa, why are women so scary? Santa: dude come on, I make $8.50 an hour, get off me.

Why was the 4 year old African kid crying? He was having a mid-life crisis.

What did one condom say to another? Let’s go to the gay bar and get shit faced.

Just saw a great panel at Comic-Con, “How to Talk to a Human Woman.”

When your body is a solid 10 But your intro and conclusion need work

Have you heard about the Polish strip club? There are Poles everywhere.