What is the pig’s favorite musical instrument? The piggalo (piccalo).

LOOK AT HOW HE OUTGUNS ME http://xboxclips.com/Kolt+the+Don/f1dd03d5-32b3-4238-9134-393050b8d254

Damn, that girls so basic… (Biology) Damn, that girls so basic she got a ph of 14!

I love pressing buttons, so as you could imagine this makes it really difficult for me to be around nipples.

Once again, overheard my 13yo tell someone that I was born in the 1900s. Now I want to hide under the covers and stab all her teddy bears.

I will tell you a racist mexican joke in three, two, Juan…

I broke up with her… Her name was “anti gravity” and she would never “go down” on me.

How do you hold a pirate rabbit? With its buccaneers! Source: Dad.

What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW. On a Porcupine the pricks are on the outside.

My wife accused me of being immature… So I told her to get out of my fort.