Understand men, or die trying. Or try dying. Or quit trying. Or lie crying. Or cry tweeting. Or tweet trying, to understand men.

Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition. Now thats what you call pot luck !

There sure are alot of the_Donald posts on the front page It sure makes me glad that 14 year olds can’t vote.

A lot of people are saying that it was a ref’s bad call denying the blackhawks goal… But we all know that it was really Buffalo Wild Wings doing.

[crime scene] photographer: I’m done unless you want another angle or something. detective: let’s do a jumping one!

What is the best anti-joke you know? Well a joke that isn’t funny, but still is because it isn’t. If you know what I mean. These are kind of much easier to remember.

The girl that cut my hair said “Is there anything else I can do for you?” and now I’m permanently banned from Famous Hair.

How do you get the walls of your house as bright as they can possibly be? Use LED based paint.

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people.

What kind of dog is the most colorful? A paint Bernard!