What do you call someone who claims to do drugs to try to look cool? A marajuannabe.

Life is like a penis. Simple, relaxed and hanging around freely. It’s women who make it hard.

What do you call a Moroccan candy distributor? Fez dispenser.

Him: Whatcha thinkin about? Me: How ferrets are like if a cat and a scarf had a baby.

Just been on bigbustycoons.com Damn, those guys have really good bus companies.

What’s a dentist’s favorite time? 2:30

Ex’s are like college Sometimes you wanna go back, then you remember that they would have killed you if you had stayed much longer

Why do black guys like overweight white women so much? Good credit and a fat ass.

At age 40 you gain the capacity to fall totally chemically head over heels in love with a refrigerator.

“Honey did you put a dead rattlesnake in my boot?” Oh it died?