Who will win this Super Bowl’s coin toss? Hillary Clinton

North Korea reminds me of a redhead Because they both have no Seoul

Wanna hear the best knock knock joke? Yes? Okay, but you gotta start off. * You: okay… knock knock. * Me: Who’s there? * You: … * Me: .. * You: ……. * Me: thats the joke, fool.

All day people keep mentioning the new 20 dollar bills I check my wallet everytime somebody mentions it and mine are all still Jackson.

What did one eyebrow say to the other? H-eyebrow

I like my women like I like my deer… Mounted.

*writes employment history on arm *writes professional references on thigh *writes email address on neck *adds “resume” to resume

If Bill Clinton gets divorced… Does that mean he’s over the Hil?

Why did the police arrest the Christmas goose? They suspected it of fowl play.

Q: What is a volcano? A: A mountain with the hiccups.