My childhood joke Teacher: Why are you late? Student: Because of the sign on the road. Teacher: What type of sign? Student: The sign that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”!

Who reads the news AND makes coffee? Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

Boxer Sugar Ray dreamt of killing his opponent and backed out, but a priest convinced him to fight, he ended up killing the opponent.

How does the devil measure his drugs? In pentagrams

What is the medical term for a fat cow? Morbidly o-beef

What is the difference between a church and a cult? Their Punch.

What does a programmer have during sex? An ||gasm.

Potty humor… Have you ever taken a shit that smelled so bad, you had to re-evaluate your lifestyle? I either need to become a vegetarian, or do a colon cleanse with holy water.

My Friend Told Me His Girlfriend Talks a lot in Her Sleep.. ..Apparently “I Know” wasn’t the right answer.

There is a new Barbie doll on the market – Junkie Barbie …complete with needle tracks