Why is faith greater than science? Science made buildings and planes but faith brought them together.

Is there a God? A billion Hindus can’t be wrong.

Homophobia is stupid. Who the hell is afraid of homes.

What is a phobia of chainsaws called? Common sense.

What do sick cannibals have for breakfast? Vitamin bills!

What do you call a haunted accordion Polka haunt us

Does this $2500 electrician bill make my ass look broke?

What did the Pharaoh’s wife nickname her husband after he farted during sex? Toot n’ comin’

I went into my local record store recently… and asked the clerk “do you have anything by The Doors?”, and he replied, “just the fire extinguisher”.

Somewhere in the world right now, somebody is buying a house based on its potential for great bathroom selfies.