Did you hear about the couple’s resort that burned down? Not a single person died.

I call bullshit on the Chinese language. There’s no way that shit is real.

If a quiz is quizicle, what’s a test?

How do you walk out of a Casino with $1 Million? Walk in with $2 Million.

So Samsung released a new knife! Its brand new cutting-edge technology

[test driving car with car salesman] *parks on make out hill*

My penis was once in the Guinness Book of World Records. Then the librarian told me to take it out.

What are the differences and similarities of flint michigan and the walking dead universe? They are both post apocalyptic but only one produces brand new cars.

Do you know what paraplegics can’t stand? *that

Can we all stop pretending that alcohol tastes good?