“Superman gets morning steel. That’s hot.” Filed under things I think about while having my coffee.

I’m 87 but have the body of a 25-year-old supermodel But it takes up too much room in my freezer, any suggestions?

Why do Muslim extremists prefer to drink cappuccino? Because they hate french press.

What did Mr. T say when he saw a fat woman sitting at the bar? “I pity the stool.”

What do you call a cross between a turducken and a tofurkey? A turfucken.

Help please I don’t get this?// https://www.imageshack.us/i/pmqPA0DIj

It’s not all about the money. It’s all about all shit I can buy with the money.

There are two types of people in this world: those who can extrapolate from an incomplete dataset, and

I heard Jared lost about 7 inches. .. But little Susie isn’t sure.

Chicago is the cleanest city in the world right now… BECAUSE IT JUST GOT SWEPT!!!!!!!!