When does a boy scout become a man? When he eats his first brownie!

What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops? Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a.

Why is hockey the bloodiest sport? It has three periods.

I told my doctor I abused drugs last night. Doctor:how? me: I punched my bottle of vicodin

Why do people draw sunglasses on the sun? It’s like, dude, he’s the sun. They make sunglasses because of him.

I don’t get what’s up with Black Friday. All Fridays matter, guys.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan

What do the Police, the NFL and Black Lives Matter all have in common? They all have the same PR guy.

Make the little things count! Teach midgets maths!

(Slightly racist) What’s the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? One can finish a race.