Marriage should be traditional. As it was in The Bible. Between a man and a rib.

I use to be addicted to the Hokie Pokie…. but I turned myself around.

Vegetarian: ‘You know, a cow died so you could have that burger’. Me: ‘Maybe he died because you keep eating all of his food’.

Knock Knock Who’s there ! Baron ! Baron who ? Baron mind who you’re talking to !

Why do fat people like games ? Because they’re unfamiliar with the gym.

I’ll never be able to clean my house faster than when someone texts saying they’re coming over.

How long does it take to eat a tire? *A Goodyear*

What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a supermodel? Nothing if her husband knows what’s good for him!

If my girlfriend caught me telling a sexist joke, she’d get really… emotional

Breaking News: Uncovered Nazi documents reveal a cure for cancer was found An oven..