What’s the hardest Olympic sport to master? Hurdling. There are a lot of obstacles on the way, and it’s hard to get a leg up on the competition.

Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No with mustard.

* Grows beard to woo women * * Receives recruitment email from ISIS *

I wonder where my brother is, his lunch is getting all cold … … … and eaten..

Jurassic Park (1993): An old man with ungodly amounts of money doesn’t have any common sense.

What’s Kayne West’s least favorite letter? Dear Sir/Ma’am We are cutting your internet connection due to the following reasons: 1. Illegal Downloading

While doing their job, why do teachers lose self-respect for themselves? It’s DeGrading

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow thrower? Give her a shovel.

I called the suffocation hotline yesterday… I was instructed to hold.

Did you hear about the 2 guys that stole a calendar? They each got 6 months.