Want to hear a word I made up? Plagiarism

What is the difference between a midget politician and syphilis? One is a cunning runt.

What is brown and has got four legs and an arm? A Rottweiler on a children’s playground.

What’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? *The taste.*

Age gets better with wine

So I just heard there is a disease killing off the Alligator population in Florida. They all got Gatorades.

Just re-watched the lesbian scene in Black Swan. For the articles.

Why wouldn’t they let Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman

Whats long and hard on a nigger? First grade.

Why couldn’t the American fly home from Russia after the Olympics? Because he was Snow’den.