What’s worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

I want to die like my grandfather, peacefully while asleep… And not like the 60 students on the bus he was driving.

Her: In case you’re interested, I’m dying. Me: Then I’ll only set one place for dinner.

Bob Ross went to hell… …to beat the devil out of it 😉 P.S. Just finished watching some episodes. I miss him so much ;( Paint in peace my friend…and God bless 😉

Can I borrow your cellphone? I need to call animal control cause I just saw a fox!

What’s worse than ants in your pants? Uncles!

“Grampa, how did you support gay marriage? Did you march like civil rights ppl?” “No. Marching’s hard. I tweeted about it.”

I found Alan Rickman in the grocery store yesterday… Jk

Why was the strawberry sad? His mom was in a jam!

What can think the unthinkable? An itheberg.