Apparently typos only become visible to the human eye AFTER you hit send.

My wife has a seashell tattooed on the inside of her leg if you lay your ear on it, you smell the sea

To err is human, to eh is Canadian.

I have controversial opinions and I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks! (Refreshes eight times to see faves and retweets)

What does NNNNNSSSSSAAAAA stand for? National Stutterers Association.

I’ve been interested in this deaf girl lately, but I’m nervous. Someone told me she has aids.

don’t tell me starbucks isn’t an emotion i feel that shit in my soul

How many Southerners does it take to change a lightbulb? Change? Whatever do you mean, *change*?

What’s the difference between a psychologist and a magician? A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!

How do you find a blind man in an orgee It’s not hard