You can’t spell grope without GOP.

Why did they skip Windows 9? Because 7 8 9!

Trouble brewing at Symphony Hall. It’s the bottom of Beethoven’s 9th, and the bassists are loaded.

People who walk while looking at their phones and expect me to get out of the way… LOL.

1998: stop playing pokemon and go outside 2016: stop playing pokemon and come inside

What did the terminally-ill dock worker say about his health care? “It’s asbestos could be.”

Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they’re ugly and they smell bad.

“Enough with the boys, I need a real man…” …I said to myself while taking out the batteries from my Game Boy and putting them into a vibrator.

A blonde strolls into her new office job at 10:30 The manager comes up to her and says, “you should have been here at nine o’clock,” to which the blonde responds “why what happened?”

I wish parents would watch their kids better because my basement is filling up