Do you know what “La Quinta” means in Spanish? Next to Denny’s

I would rather be a goat or a bag of teeth than a “low information voter.”

Care free shrimp pasta is… Happy-go-lucky scampi.

Muslim: I do not eat bacon. Jew: I do not eat bacon. Me: I will have their bacon.

Still waiting for #WTF! Friday where we all list people whose popularity is a mystery to us.

If you’re a woman and you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.

It’s not that the man didn’t know how to juggle, He just didn’t have the balls to do it.

my girlfriends said if this gets 1000 up votes then I probably reposted somebody elses joke

Boy: You are the most funniest and most beautiful girl I have ever met. Girl: You just wanna f*ck me. Boy: Wow and smart to.

If you ever need 15 minutes of peace and quiet from texting, tell her to send a selfie.