Why do you have to nuke siberia twice? The first one is just to break the ice.

Jay-Z puts down his phone and rolls his eyes. “The wife.” “I hear that!” says Kanye, trying do the same but accidentally going cross-eyed.

Actors can get political in speeches if they want. Go for it. But imagine someone winning Wimbledon & going, “Yay! I won! Save the whales!”

My phone reception is so clear, I can hear my wife’s eyes rolling as I talk.

what do I get Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?Tommy: Quarters.Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?Tommy: Hamburger.

Wiki Hi this is a wiki I work on. I need help to expand it. It is a satirical humour based wiki. Someone any one please help me.

I like to wear Grocery store uniforms and tell homeless people that I’m there to repo the shopping cart.

What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing and delivery

What does a transvestite do on Christmas? Eat, drink and be Mary

I’ve got a new pet salamander.. I named it Tiny because it is my newt