Dad, why is my cousin called Porsche? Dad: Because her father likes Porsche cars. Son: Thanks dad. Dad: You’re welcomed, young boy.

What’s the difference between heroin and the cast of the jersey shore? I wouldn’t shoot heroin.

What did Barack say to Michelle when he proposed? I don’t want to be Obama self.

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his collection of Pixar films except one. He’s never going to give you Up.

What do you call someone who hates cold weather? A southerner

Why do male prostitutes make more money than females? Because they always drive a *Hard* bargain. 😀

Geography joke from my son Him: What’s the capitol of Switzerland? Me: Ummm, Geneva? Him: Nope!…. BERN!!!!

Jack, Dill, James, and Mike were walking down the street. Mike fell down. Can Dill, Jack, or James he

“Can you explain this Gap in your work history?” Yes that’s when I worked for the popular clothing retailer

Did you hear about the perverted statistician? Standard deviation wasn’t enough for him anymore…