A real man will always find time for his woman, even if it means blowing off a date with his mistress.

What did the tight vagina say to the loose vagina? Nothing – its lips were sealed.

What do you call 2 horses side by side in a stable? Neigh-bours.

How I met your mother was……. How I met your mother was…..nothing but a 9 year (season) long TED Talk

Took my first cab ride last night And I gotta say, the price was fare!

BLONDE BICYCLE Q: Why did the blonde run with the bike? A: It was going too fast for her to get on.

Why do feminists hate the portrayal of women in the media? Because only men can be seXY.

I don’t believe women have souls. Neither do men. I don’t believe in souls.

My girlfriend messed up baking a tart She was to re-tart it

My wife said I could cum in the other hole tonight. But for some reason she got angry when she saw me lying in bed with her friend.