What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear? Hearing AIDS

What did the buffalo say to his boy before leaving for work? Bye, son.

Did you hear about the suspect who was released from jail after he touched grounded metal and received a static shock? He was cleared of all charges.

“Get off your high horse!” – Veterinarian who prescribed medical marijuana.

I love Ebay. Sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month..

Satan was all alone with Eve, NAKED, at the forbidden tree and all he did was to convince her to eat a fruit? GAY.

People always ask ‘how do you cope with erectile disfunction’? Honestly, it’s not that hard

Safe to say a good 38% of my life is spent trying to sleep while the 18yr old stomps through the house like an angry triceratops.

I’m watching Olympic athletes run 1500m, while trying to figure out how I can make the Roomba drive 3m to the beer fridge for me.

What do you call a drummer who just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless