A slutty girl is like the first slice of bread in a loaf. Everybody touches it but nobody wants it.

Beer has female hormones Whenever I am drinking I talk too much and can’t drive a car.

I want to hold you till the end of time, or until I have to pee.

What do you call a 10 ten old Irish boy who doesn’t go to church? A virgin

What’s the difference between a gay man and a freezer? The freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.

When I find something in my purse on the first reach-in I feel like I should get some applause or something.

What’s Donald Trumps favorite color? Orange

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication

SCIENTIST: it’s both man and machine ME: what’s it called? S: I call it a cyborg M: I would have went with manchine S: *crushes test tube*

My friend said that China might be considering assisted suicide for teenagers He’s probably wrong, but if he’s right, that would mark the beginning of euthanasia of youth in Asia.