Relationship status: held a door open for a girl, so she used the other one

Do you know why newspapers don’t print the pictures of all criminals? They would run out of black ink

My new Toyota is going to featured in a film! They call it a Camryo.

I wonder when my phone will start listing them as ignored calls instead of missed calls.

How many Google plus users does it take to change a lightbulb ? All of them actually . Two to hold the ladder and one to change the lightbulb .

What type of grapes to Indians like? Gangrapes Edit: do*

A lady friend asked me back to her place to chat about conspiracy theories… Orwell, you know.

*Builds panic room out of Swiss cheese* *Fails to see holes in plan*

What is the rudest part of the body? The privates. They’re either dicks or cunts.

cried at the dentist today but at least they thought it was because of them