Guys, want to find out all of your flaws in under a minute? Just ask your girlfriend if she’s gained weight.

Racial issues in America are very complex They’re not just black and white

In Harry Potter I wonder if Sirius Black’s middle name is Lee…

Having sex in an elevator.. ..is wrong on so many levels

Most of my parenting skills come from watching Animal Planet.

What do you call a smarty pants? …… A jeanius

Did you hear about the dog who went to the flea circus? He stole the show.

“I wanna fu*k you so bad right now.” “WHAT!?” “Damn autocorrect, I meant “hey”

There are three types of people in the world. Those that are good with numbers and those who are not.

What did the blind guy say to the deaf guy? I hear what your saying, but I don’t see your point