So, have you guys seen the headlines about ‘Jesus might have had a wife’? I don’t know why they’re still speculating. After all, it’s pretty clear that *someone* was nailing him.

Having sex with your clone… Is it incest or masturbation?

Did you hear about the train that hit the deaf guy? Neither did he.

Why do French tanks have rearview mirrors? To see the battle.

Nice try, blocked number but I don’t even answer the phone for people I know.

16 zombie actors injured on movie set. Saddly no one noticed for 3 hours.

Have you tried Gatorade’s newest sports drink, F5? It’s very refreshing

TIL: Phonebooks are banned in China Because there are so many Wings and so many Wongs, you might Wing the Wong number.

When is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house? When the big hand touches the little hand.

Like Bjork always says, “When life gives you lemons, giggle in childish wonder as they confide in you their citrusy secrets.”