I’m going to stop eating beef from Colorado The steaks are too high

What did the French biologist say to visitors entering the corn maze Enjoy Zea maize!

What do you call a dead bird that was suicidal? A Robin Williams.

Why do white girls always hang out in odd numbers? Because they can’t even.

remeber: you hav the same number of hours in the day as this tree. and how much oxygen hav u produced? oh none? oh u CONSUMED OXYGEN!?!???

Give a toddler a crayon and he will eat that crayon. Teach him how to color and he will eat more crayons.

They aren’t making foot rulers any longer Why you ask? If it was any longer it wouldn’t be a foot

I was telling a great joke about the importance of the guillotine in the French Revolution… But it didn’t really land. I guess execution really is key

Wife: He makes puns all the time Therapist: You should punish him Husband: But every punishment to be different

I treat you like a son But you treat me like a son of a bitch! Made me laugh for 5 mins when I heard it lol