*takes cat from pocket of doctor’s coat & holds it over patient* He has finished his scan. He says he doesn’t like you & you have cancer.

What do steaks and pot brownies have in common? If you eat either of them in India you’ll get stoned.

TIL: The Flintstones is actually quite controversial in Saudi Arabia, because Dubai really doesn’t like it… But Abu Dhabi do!

What did the blind, paraplegic kid get for his christmas? ..cancer

A cannibal is having a meal at a restaurant After finishing his main course he tells the waiter “Czech please”

Obviously I’ve considered doing porn since I have this huge… butthole.

A woman is quick to reject a man that lives with his mother, but will accept a man that lives with his wife.

Policeman: Why did you stop your car get out and yell “coward” at the traffic signal? Motorist: The light just turned yellow.

Why don’t ghosts make good magicians. You can see right through their tricks.

Girls who are easy on the eyes are usually hard on the balls and wallet.