The Earth was concerned about the moon. The Sun tried to reassure the Earth. “The moon is just going through a phase” said the Sun.

who is Godzilla’s least favorite relative? his MOTHRA-IN-LAW

My dating service, “It’s Just Oral” is really taking off!

So i was sitting on the bus… … next to this really hot Thai girl and i thought to myself, “Please don’t get an erection. Please don’t get an erection.” …But she did.

My wife asked me… …if I could eat her pussy when she got home from work. Later in the evening she asked me why I never ate her pussy. To which I replied “What do you think was in the stew?”

I think my iPhone is broken. I keep pressing the home button but I’m still at work!

A list as long as my arm.. I have a list as long as my arm of why I wish my mother never took thalidomide

Why was Santa upset when he got a sweater for Christmas? Because he was hoping for a screamer or a moaner.

The color red walks over to the table where Blue and Purple are sitting “Sorry,” says Blue, “you can’t sit with us. You aren’t cool enough.”

What is a good title for a movie about bacon? “Babe: The Final Chapter”