if im being ridiculed online, i will not hesitate to post a photo of a gun. is it my gun? maybe i just googled it. you gonna take that risk?

What did one orphan say to the other? “Robin, get in the Batmobile.”

What’s the difference between Bill Clinton and Donald Trump? Bill fucked fewer people in the Oval Office.

What do you call a belt made of clocks? A waist of time

The Clippers are gonna be bought by the former CEO of Microsoft. Apparently he’s looking for something to occupy himself while Windows is installing “critical updates.”

Q: Why did the computer squeak? A: Someone stepped on the mouse.

“Mommy all the kids at school say I’m a werewolf! Is that true?” “No of course not. Now shut up and comb your face.”

Tell me a sick joke Whatever type of ‘sick’ humor – gross, racist, etc. All is fair on this thread.

*put cooked chicken in oven* *offer to cook date dinner* *put raw chicken in oven* *immediately pull out cooked chicken* *keep eye contact*

Winter is a lot like Justin Bieber. It was cute and exciting in the begining, but now its a bit annoying and it should probably just stay in Canada.